Day 16: New Mantra, Positive affirmations, Napoleon Hill

How often do you do positive affirmations? Do you think they are effective? I think they might be useful when you align them with your goals. If thoughts, intention and focus matter that much, then creating the right mindset is equally important as well.

I have been trying to repeat this mantra that I learned from Mark Fishers "Instant Millionaire". It says "I become better each day, everywhere and in everything I do". This mantra instantly reminds me that there are only 2 possible outcomes in every situations.

They are: 1) You either Succeed or 2) You learn.  Its a very healthy approach as it allows you to take things easier and not fall pray to your mind created imagining reality of making things more difficult than they actually are. You don't have to fight or react to every problem and situation. The surprising fact is sometimes when you let go the situation it resolves itself and after a while you realize that it was not that big of a deal as I thought it was. So it is important to shift your focus from the fighter mode to the mode of learning, improving and becoming better from every situation.

I quickly want to go through the achievement formula here. The first step to succeed in any venture is to set clear goals. I would like to remind you quickly about the SMART goals formula:

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time-bound

Example: You want to start gym and get in good shape that you've been dreaming of for a while. It would be ineffective if you say: "I go to gym because I want to get in shape."
You have to be specific. "My goal is to loose fat or gain muscle weight?"
Be measurable: "My goal is to loose/gain 10 kg of fat or 10 kg of muscle?
Time bound: "My goal is to loose 10kg fat gain 10 kg of muscle in 3 month"
Achievable: Dont set impossible goals. You cant put on 50 kg muscle in a month.
Relevant: You goals should be aligned with your greater goal, ambition and life purpose. It has to lead you somewhere.

Once you set a goal you can use hills formula. GOALS+Burning Desire+Faith. I think Faith is equally important. One has to believe that he will achieve his goal before he gets there. In other words "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."

I will keep this letter short. Just dont forget to do the mantra. "Each day I become better everywhere and in everything I do."

Day 15. Half way through. Should you share your goals with others?

Day 15. Half way through. 15 more days to accomplish what I've set with all the four challenges.

Should I be talking about my goals and ambitions with others? I have been thinking of this question for a while now. When I was reading Napoleon Hill I remember he mentioned in his book Think and Grow Rich that it is not recommended to talk about your goals with others. However I never fully understood why? Why would Napoleon Hill being the person who always emphasized the importance of words, positive attitude and optimism while interacting with others, says that you shouldn't share your goals. If the thought are the things that shapes our reality, don't we make those thoughts stronger and give it more chance to realize while we speak about them?

Well, I thought for a very long about it until the answer came to me... Whole my life I loved setting goals and sharing them people around me in the hope that it will inspire them to take action as well, and to pick some insights from them as well. By the way, don't get me wrong I am not talking about the common belief that don't share your goals because people are evil and they will conspire against they know what you plan. That is a very negative and unhealthy mindset to come from. The truth of the fact is that people are either too lazy to do anything or too busy of thinking about themselves to give a damn about your goals, not to say to spend time conspiring against you.

However, if you pay close attention, there is only two scenarios possible when you share your goals/ambitions with other and both of them are not in your favor.

First one is that not everyone is in the same emotional vibration as you. They may not understand, like, think positive, or give the right advise about goals. This may demotivate you from taking the action. The truth of the matter is that we all think we are experts in many things that we have no clue about. One wise thing I learned was "Whenever you plan to start a venture only seek advice from the Experts only. People who have done what you intend to do before you, from people who are at least 10-20 years ahead of you in that field. " Do not ask advice from your friends or family. On the best side you will be wasting your time convincing them that your goal is good. To sum up, when you share your goals with others you will either get discouraged or relieve unproven/invalid 'expert' opinions which will do more harm than good.

The second scenario is even worse. This is when you talk about your goals and your friends think its a Great Idea and they praise you for coming up with such a great plan and they encourage you  to pursue it and keep going. It sounds like something we need a lot, doesn't it? However, there is an insidious problem with it. The thing is that, when  you talk about your goals and get positive feedback from people your brain receives all the positive validation that it needs after achieving that goal before even taking any action towards that goal. It impacts your subconscious as well. Our brains can not distinguish reality from thought. By being praised by friends for the amazing plan your brain gets all the validation and thinks as if it has already achieved the desired outcome. The fake sense of accomplishment relaxes your brain and you don't feel that urge to take action or to hustle anymore. This creates the loop and is the major reason why some people end up coming with fabulous ideas and only talking about them without even realizing any single one of them. Goals demand hard work, concentration and constant action. To do this one should always stay hungry. Getting validated before achieving your goals will only hinder your Success. Therefore, Keep Your Goals to Yourself.

P.S. This must be my biggest realization today about why i started certain ventures and did not follow up. My mistake was sharing my goals with positive people around me who always encouraged and praised me for the brilliance of these plans. I got validated and therefore did not feel the same hunger anymore.

P.S.S. Share with me below in the comments if you whether you think its a good idea to talk about your goals or not and why..

Thank you for reading this letter and see you tomorrow! :)

Day 14: Consistency, The instant millionaire, The state of Flow

First 14 days have been an enjoyable hustle. With the new lifestyle of working on my goals, life became one pace faster. On the day 14 however, it does not seem as much hassle anymore. I feel like i am getting slowly into the state of flow.

For instance, going to the gym every day does not feel like work anymore. Some days I don't even remember that I went to the gym and trained that day. I mostly remember the strong waves of energy going through my body. The days I train I definitely have more energy. After a while when you look at the mirror you realize the most important thing, even more than training hard and killing yourself in the gym is CONSISTENCY. Even if you work out with 50% of the intensity the one who is more consistent, will always be better than the one with excellent workout regime but trains only few month.

Reading books has turned into a very enjoyable habit now. Every free moment I get I indulge into reading. Morning commute to work, evening commute from work, waiting for a friend in a coffee shop/restaurant, metro, taxis, buses, every chance I get I read. I realized that I've been wasting so much time doing nothing. I read using my ipad. With the help of Z-library I get to download almost all the books I want to. Its like a dream come true for me. You enter a huge bookstore and can buy any and as many books as you want and they all are for free. I think they well deserve a free advertisement on my blog. ;)

So, coming back to books. I've noticed that the motivation that books give you are more lasting than the once you get from video's, you-tube or podcasts. I am reading this book called the instant millionaire now and I think it may just get the right to be on my recommended top 5 book list. The concepts presented in the book are very similar to the ideas of Napoleon Hill. The author starts with explaining how our thoughts shape our reality. How by controlling what you feed your Subconscious mind and building the right self image you can achieve any goal. What I like about this book most, is the Story narrative of it. Unlike Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" which might get overwhelming without single narrative, Mark Fisher tells the story of a 30 years old young man who desires to make his way through life but doesn't really believe that he can ever become a millionaire. He finds a mentor and mentor teaches him how to think like a millionaire and become one. While reading the book, the writer puts the story and the words in a way that you feel like You are that young man who is being taught by the millionaire mentor how to change your life. I absolutely recommend reading it.

Everything seems like getting into its own place now. Before, I couldn't find time with all these challenges and felt the hustle hitting me. Now, however, I get to enjoy life more as these actions are turning into solid habits and I am doing most of them in the autopilot mode. Writing the blogposts every day was the hardest of all challenges. Don't get me wrong. It still is (compared to others) :)). However, it is way easier to concentrate and put words down now. Ideas are more flowing. I feel like I am not running after another thing anymore and I get more time to observe and enjoy what is happening around me this time with the stronger habits ruling my subconscious. I can feel that the state of Flow is very close...

Day 13: High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way- Book review

It is said that whatever you focus on, you tend to notice more. When I started reading this book, most of the ideas seemed like things I have thought about.

In his book, Brendon tries to find the answer to the question of "Why do some individuals and teams succeed more quickly than others and sustain that success over long term". He believes that with the right habits, anyone can dramatically increase their results and become a high performer in almost any field.

He indicates six habits of high performers and emphasizes the importance of improving your skills with each of them. These are:

1. Clarity
2. Energy
3. Necessity
4. Productivity
5. Influence
6. Courage

Anyone who wants to succeed has to have a clear idea of what he wants to do and where he wants to go. Fundamental questions that should be asked: Who am I? What do I value? What are my strength and weaknesses? What are my goals? What is my plan?

High performers know themselves but they don't get stuck there. They are more focused on sculpting themselves into stronger and more capable people. Ask yourself "If you could describe your ideal Self in the future, the person you are trying to become, how would you describe that self?" Once you figure that out do not wait for next week, next month or next year. Start Living Your best Self now. Have a vision beyond your Current circumstances. Imagine your best future self and start acting like that person today.

Practice 1. 

Spend your days more mindful. Brendon practiced passing through each day with the 3 word mantra that each day he spends he should LIVE, LOVE, and MATTER. This is a very useful practice that I may start incorporating into my lie. Be mindful, live fully and enjoy every moment of your day. Give Love and genuinely care for someone. Matter and make your presence a difference, positive impact for the lives of those around you. Ask yourself each day: Did I live fully today? Did I love? Did I matter?

Practice 2.

Identify three aspirational words that would describe your future self. 1. Describe how you have perceived yourself over the past several month (with your partner, at work, with friends in social situations and etc.) 2. Ask, Is that who I really see myself being in the future? How would my future self look, feel and behave differently in those situations? 3. If you could describe yourself in three aspirational words - words that sum up who you are at your best future self- what would those words be? Once you find those words write them down and remind yourself several times a day to start living by that.

Along with personal aspects of achievement Brendon emphasizes the importance of the social aspects as well. For instance he says that High performers regularly ask themselves a few primary before interacting with people. They ask questions like these:

How can I be a good person or a leader in this upcoming situation?
What will the other person need?
What kind of mood or tone I want to set.

What is apparent across all high performers is that they anticipate positive social interactions and they strive consciously and consistently to create them.

I haven't finished the book yet but I highly recommend anyone to start reading and practicing it. You will probably not get much from just reading. It would be way more helpful if u can take just 1 advice from each chapter and start practicing today...

All the best and see you tomorrow.

Day 12: Unf*ck Yourself: Get out of your Head and into Your Life -book review

Yesterday, I started this book titled "How to Unf*ck yourself" which resonated with me a lot. The author tries to show the way to wake you up for your true potential and get the most out of life.

The underlying idea of the book is based on the idea that 95% of our daily actions are controlled by our subconscious mind. The conscious decision that we make during the day are only 5%. Rest of the actions are done habitual and on autopilot mode. How many times have you returned back home without even realizing the way? How many times days weeks passed without you remembering any significant thing that happened?

"If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one's feelings by controlling one's thoughts or by changing the internalized sentences or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place."

The truth of the fact is that our subconscious mind controls us more way more than we know. The subconscious mind itself is governed by our thoughts. So the answer is if you are able to control your thoughts you will be able to control your life.

Weather you accept it or not we all have self talk. It is the voice in your head that constantly talks to you, assess the situation, judges you sometimes, take you back to the past and dreams you into the future. Depending on how positive or negative your self talk is determines how much in control you are.

The unf*ck yourself method is all about Training your brain for positive self talk and productivity habits. You can take control of your life by practicing conscious and decisive self talk. Just like we build any habit by repetitive action we can use strong assertive language over time to create lasting change in our lives.  Your mind can be trained into seeing opportunities in any situation rather than indulging into negative self criticism. Be conscious and diligent about the words you use.

How we talk and think about, and perceive our surroundings is the very foundation of our reality. One can create the reality they live by having the conversations with yourself and others. You can reframe your every day problems by relating to them as opportunities. They can become items in your life that you can use to educate and expand yourself.

Do not use the words "should" or "try". Do not use I am going to be or I will be instead use I am  or I embrace or I accept. ( Instead of saying I am going to be more productive say I embrace that I am more productive). Notice the difference between the words "I will be relentless" and "I am relentless". Try out assertive speaking in your daily life and catch yourself when you are using more general narrative kind of speaking.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. Therefore, guard accordingly, and take that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature" - Marcus Aurelius

The personal assertion "I am wired to win" will support you in realizing how truly powerful you and your mind are. Make a bucket plan of the powerful and right ideas to train your thoughts.

I know it is not that easy to control thoughts or to create the positive thought patterns especially for those who are used to negative self talk. There is only one shortcut to create the right thoughts and it is to take the right Action.

I am not what I think I am what I do. "We become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions" -Aristotle. You change your life by doing, not thinking about doing. Doing is the quickest way to change your thoughts. Dont act on your thoughts. Act on whats in front of you. Change your life by changing your actions.

Top takeaways:

Do not complain. Take full responsibility over your life and circumstances. Never blame anyone or any situation for your failures or misfortune. Use assertive language in difficult situations such as "I got this" and ask yourself what can I learn from it. Think about how much stronger this difficulty or challenge will make you instead. 

Practice positive self talk. One way is to do a positivity challenge for a week. In fact, I just made up my mind. I am doing 7 day positivity challenge starting from today. The rules are simple. Consciously asses your self talk during the day and every time you find yourself indulged in a negative thought,  complaining or whining about any situation or any problem stop and re-frame that thought in your mind and speak out loud. Speak to yourself until you can clearly see the other perspective. When you speak to others do not use the weak language like I try, I should or I will instead use I am. Practice personal assertions such as I am wired to win. 

I like this challenge because you will be able to easily track how successful I am by reading my next blog post. See you tomorrow! ;) 

Day 11 What would I advise my younger self

It is currently 7:23 PM in the evening of Sunday. I am rushing through this blog post in order not to fail my daily challenge of posting a blog post a day. Sundays, I usually film, edit and publish a Youtube video and I just managed to finish todays video while I was out with my friends. It can be difficult to find a place with a solid wifi connection.

I will keep this blog post short as I shared most of what I am going to say in this letter in my Youtube video.

The single best I advice I would give to my Younger self is to focus on the Self Image instead of thinking about What to do or How to do things. Take your time to build the character of a self disciplined, motivated and hungry for life person.

How many times have you promised yourself that you are going to wake up early and gave up? How many times did u set a goal that you will start going to gym and failed to do so? How many times did you decide that you will start reading more, not waste time and take more action?

Bruce Lee once said "No one can be defeated unless he or she accepts the defeat". Some of us give up on life accepting the fact that they are lazy, tired, not confident, not smart or not successful enough. Confidence, Productivity and High Achievement all are skills that can be learnt. If you try hard enough all of these personality traits can be easily sculpted into you.

Do this exercise with me now: Take a peace of paper and a pen and write down the main characteristics of a person you would like to see yourself in future.

If you are Hungry for Success the first thing that you must do is to imagine the version of you who is already at that place where you want to get. Then do everything to own and incorporate the habits of that successful You into your daily life. This is called projecting the future before it actually happens...

This is the main reason I started doing these 30 day challenges. I am working on building the character of a highly disciplined person who keeps his promises to himself and always finishes what he started.

Our lives, our destiny and our future is in our own hands. The decisions that we make today determines who we become tomorrow. Do not give up on yourself. As long as you have the clear mental image of who you ought to be, you will be that person.

See you tomorrow!

Day 10: 30 day Challenges, Discipline and Self Image

Today I woke up at 11 AM feeling strong, energetic and motivated to work. Weekends feel so good after a long work week. 11 AM means that I had a really good night sleep, even thou, I went to bed at 3 AM I think I still made my 8 hours J. Woke up, showered, trained, had breakfast, finished the GRE prep and run out to Starbucks to get this blog post done.

Now, because I am currently doing 4 -30 day challenges (GYM, Blog Post, GRE, 1 hour reading) they take up about 50% of my free of work time of the day (I also have a 9–5 job). I even thought to start learning a new language for a while. But I think it might wait until I finish the first 30 days and decide to choose the new set of 4 -30 day challenges for next month.

The major reason I am doing them is because I believe in the long run creating the habit of sticking to things for longer period will benefit me immensely. To be completely honest, I think it was my weakest point for quite a while. I am usually pretty good at taking the first steps and I start really strong, then I slack of hereand there, until I make up some excuse and move to something completely different. Even though, most of my shifts were usually when I found something better and more useful, I think it can just be another trick that my brain plays and just another excuse to qualify myself.

That’s why it is really important for me to build the habit of taking continues action, create a strong willpower and be disciplined in the days I don’t feel it. I have realized that there are two main types of motivation: Extrinsic and Intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is something that is driven from outside world and you have no control over it. Let’s say, you watched an inspiring speech on YouTube and suddenly you feel motivated and pumped to start taking control in your hands, work hard and do something meaningful with your life. This usually lasts no longer than few days until you get back to feeling like a lazy dirt-bag again. :P

There is another type of motivation which is called intrinsic motivation. It comes from within yourself and is strongly connected with your Why, your internal values, belief systems and a greater goal. It is the Intrinsic Motivation (some call it motivation 2.0) that keeps us go for longer and gets us to the goal. It is possible to build the intrinsic motivation via strengthening the willpower, putting continues effort and being disciplined in the days you don’t feel like slacking off.

Most important thing is to remember that we are the set of Stories that we tell ourselves and the mental image that we build about us. If you tell yourself the story that you are someone who gives up too quick, lazy, unfit, not confident and not successful person you will remain as one forever. Certain positive external situations can change your state for only a short while but it won’t last and you will sooner or later return back to your default shitty state.

It is important to work equally as hard on the mental image about yourself. Every day you should tell yourself that “I am someone disciplined who continuously works on himself and who always follows up, finishes what he starts. I improve my skills to become more productive and confident person.” If your day is filled by thoughts of such and you put continues effort on becoming more disciplined, more skilled, and more productive person you will eventually raise your default state to a point of High Achievement. By then then even the negative external influences and situations will have less or no effect on who You know You are.